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“You need to have your license and passport ready”. Nothing else, no other sentence big or small came to my mind as I waited in queue. I don’t remember his face but I remember his tie. Black stripes on blue. I was wearing navy blue doctors’ tie. He was not employed in the big software company that I was recruited to, but a member of the small ship to which the recruitment ceremony was outsourced. The queue was damp with anticipation. They sweated more to the tension in the air than to the blazing heat near the beach. “Stand in alphabetic order. A to M in one queue the rest of the names in the next queue”. Gladly I am in the first. Sadly I am the third one from the front. I noticed the fair petite female standing in the next queue, her face loaded with doubts as she gazed at the fat middle aged pot bellied police inspector verifying the documents. “What do u do ?” suddenly it struck me. I was not the third anymore. I was in front and a dark police man enquired grabbing the papers out of my hand.
“ …nothing…I passed B tech.. I mean engineering and I am placed in a software company”
“Where ?” he wasn’t even looking at me..
“
“Will call u” he murmured
“ yeah they will..as soon as this economic crisis is over” I replied with a smile.
He looked up surprised and smiled “ What ….. will call u for the license test in about ten minutes “
“thank u ..Sir” , I didn’t felt thankful and I didn’t respect him. But educated etiquettes make u feel civilized.
“They will call u soon.. Don’t get tensed.. u will get it. TEA ???” my driving teacher put his hand around me. I felt comforted and then I felt insecure. Was he looking over my shoulders into my pocket? I gave him enough and more. “ no..am fine. Had Tea.”
“So ..what do think about driving the M 80. We tuned it in such a way that u can take the 8...easily. You will get the motorcycle. It’s the car that I am worried about.”
“Yeah..” I had practiced the eight shaped route small enough for a two wheeler to fit in the same morning. The air suddenly got a little dense. I remember telling my friends that I could smell the rain even before it came. "Hmm.. dogs have that" They laughed at me. I laughed with them at me. I didn’t smell this one coming and suddenly I was running for cover. The brokers, the fat driving teachers, the thin driving teachers and the intermediate brokers and the hundreds of eager people waiting to get licensed ran for cover. There was none. I got into the car that I am supposed to take the test on. My sir got in too.” Hate the rain.. but you will get it”
The drizzle left in haste as it came. “Where is…???” and with a loud bang she banged the rear door. “Bloody rain”, she was the driving teachers wife. Somehow everybody feels insecure when a male driving teacher teaches female students. That might be the reason why he married her. I was wrong; she was the one who established the driving school. Two years before marrying him. Then he became what he is now. From a pace bowler who loves old Malayalam songs to a driving teacher. She is all small talk. He is serious. She scolds you when you put the first gear instead of the third. He puts it when you go wrong. She asks for money. He waits for the answer. She listens to your small talk. He doesn’t. I had developed a dislike when she asked me if I had problems to differentiate left from the right. Like I was a 22 year retard. The rain passed by. Unbeable heat passed in.
“Go and stand in that queue...” she said with a tone of authority. He just smiled. She wore a smile too. Subtle. Fake. And I was in another queue. The guy standing in front of me turned around and said “we will get it.. I am tensed. You want to exchange my position. I can’t say no. not that I haven’t practiced it. But to say “ no “ to a kid like him would be totally unworthy of my practice “never mind”, I said with a smile. Subtle. Not fake. But Pointless and hollow. The motor cycle test went pretty good. The path was charged with mud and I was shaped with fear and confidence. Confidence and fear mixed together on milk mans scooter tuned to go on first gear. The gentle push from the owner of the scooter who rents it to all the aspirants gave me the inertia. He is paid up with the officials.
“So what do you do ?” the man in uniform enquired politely.
“I passed my engineering. Waiting for the call letter.” He smiled at me. As he punched the ‘passed the motor cycle test’ seal onto a document. I ran to my driving school teacher.
“ no time to waste ..go for the four wheeler test “
“ok” give me a compliment at least. You didn’t give me single class on the bike and I come here and get it done at the first attempt. A mere tap on the shoulders would do the trick.
No queue here. The path sodden with rain. The marks, drenched and muddy. These marks gives you the position to turn the motor car at specific points which will let you pass the H shaped trodden muddy track. I got the test. I thought I knocked down a pole. No I didn’t.. same questions were asked again. Same answers were answered again. Same gestures were received again from the driving teacher. His wife was nowhere to be seen.
“ you didn’t get the curve right”
“I got it”
“ you should press the clutch first and then the brakes “
“ I got it…er”
“you got it’
“I did”
“no one fails the road test”
“I hope I get it too”
She came running in from some corner and found out that I made it. She was happier than I was. “ you know why you got it “ she asked .
“ I didn’t knock down the poles. I took the ‘H’”
“yeah right… not if I hadn’t bribed them. I went to pay it. 400rs for the motor car and 200 for the motor cycle.” She revealed.
“oh.. so should I pay anything more” I posed as if I didn’t have any problem with paying anything more. But I knew that I have paid enough and more. I took out my wallet. I gave it to him. She grabbed it from his pocket. He smiled.
“did you learn all the signals??”
“I didn’t’
“ok”
And now I was standing there practicing the overtake, left turn, right turn, stop hand signals. I was embarrassed. I was finding it hard. I felt naked.
“ stretch it ooout. Straight. Steady”
“I still didn’t get the overtake right.
“Like caressing a rainbow”
“yeah”
“no ..move your hand to and fro along the curve”
I remembered a sign behind some truck that I was trying to overtake on my bike not long back. It said “sound horn” “ no hand signals’ “ all
The face of a demon painted on a metal scrap hung about staring at all the folk trying to overtake it. A similar face was giving a similar look now. She got in with me for the driving road test. The officer sat next to me. “second” he said as soon as i started the car.
“third” I didn’t drive more than 20 meters. “fourth”
At this speed fourth gear would knock. I pressed the accelerator. “slow down and stop”
I put the fourth gear in haste and slowed the car down. I didn’t show any signals. I stopped the vehicle. I could see the agitation my driving teacher’s wife was showing through the rear view mirror. The officer could see it too. I stuck my hand out of the window and displayed the ‘stop’ signal. The officer smiled and said “what’s the point ? You already stopped”
I smiled. She laughed. He started putting tick marks on everything on the list.
The slope test- tick.
U turn-tick
I couldn’t read the rest but there were a whole lot of ticks. The officer got in out and moved towards the car behind me. Jam packed with students.
My driving teacher’s wife had a glow on her face. “You got it”
“ but I didn’t show the signals”
“.. well you got it..”
Soon I took the road test for the motor cycle as well. I stood in front of an officer and started doing the signals one by one. Then I got on the M 80 and drove it desperately trying to display all the signals. He barely noticed
.” what do you do?”
“I passed my b tech waiting for my call letter ”
“will sent it to your address”
“no maybe ..they will mail me online “
“What??!! ….. will sent the license to your address”
I walked up to my driving sir. “ thanks”
“none of my students ever fail”
“yeah”
“ hey … we need to give classes to a few students in Maruthunkuzhy. The bus stop is over there.” She whispered. “but you did a good job.”
“if any your friends want to get license you can sent them to us” and they left me in the sun.
“ I will”’ I won’t. No never. I hate the bureaucrats who were bribed for my test. I hate the system which gives license to people who doesn’t know it. I hate the doctor who gave me 6/6 vision certificate without even knowing me. I hate the road filled with gutters. “But I need to be ready with me license and passport when the call letter comes”.
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